Quiz: Did Justin Trudeau Or Matthew McConaughey Say This?

OK, Justin Trudeau and Matthew McConaughey are both extremely accomplished dudes—much more accomplished than lil' ol' me.

They're not just both dashing leading men—when you look at them and hear them talk, you have to admit they're, in a sense, cut from the same hippie-philosopher cloth. Yes, one is the prime minister of Canada and the other is an Oscar winner and Lincoln car salesman, but you know the type: the ever-present dude in your third year of college who is permanently leaning against a wall and is often leading some super-intense conversation about travel after having just read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. He definitely asks if you want to join up for yoga "really early" the next morning (around 10:30). You can never tell if he actually goes to the school but it doesn't matter, he's there and he's alive, man.

Now, I'm not saying Trudeau and McConaughey are exactly the same guy, hard stop. I'm just saying that deep down in their souls, they are both basically saying "Alright alright alright." You don't believe me? Well, here's a pop quiz on whether you can tell these two giants of the Internet age apart.

1. "I don't read the newspapers, I don't watch the news. I figure, if something important happens, someone will tell me."

2. "If you want your hair to be thicker, cut it when the moon is about to be full—a heavy, full, waxing moon. Do not cut it when the moon's waning."

3. "Most people travel with an idea like I'm going to conquer this place … But I've learned that I'm much happier traveling to absorb."

4. "You cannot let yourself be defined by the hopes that you will fulfill the darkest wishes of your opponents."

5. "I think I was 14 when Dad and I had our birds-and-bees talk. He goes, 'Hey, buddy, drop your pants. Let's see what you got. Okay, now these right here? They're what really make a baby. And this little guy is where the semen comes out. I'm sure the old shower head's hit it a few times when you were playing with yourself and it felt great.' It was a man-to-man, son-to-dad talk. It was really cool and kind of took taboos off things."

6. "I lived in a van… I used to live in a van."

7. "My wife and I don't compete. We know each other's preferences, and we work to provide those for each other. One will take over when the other is faced with something he or she dislikes. That's what friends do."

8. "I had to learn to dismiss people who would criticize me based on nothing, but I also had to learn not to believe the people who would compliment me and think I was great based on nothing. And that led me to have a very, very strong sense of myself and my strengths."

9. "I look at what I have as a challenge and I could list a whole bunch of different challenges. And I choose not to be daunted by any of them."

10. "A man should always have a diary on him, that way he always has something incredible to read."

11. "Nobody's life is a bed of roses. And regardless of how the situation is, you go through ups and downs, and they end up defining you."

12. "I was a snowboard instructor, I was a bouncer in a nightclub, I was a whitewater river guide for many years. I worked as a teacher. I make no apologies for a very varied set of life experiences."

13. "People think that boxing is all about how hard you hit your opponent. It's not. Boxing is about how hard a hit you can take and keep going."

14. "Now, you lose something in your life, or you come into a conflict, and there's gonna come a time that you're gonna know there was a reason for that. And at the end of your life, all the things you thought were periods, they turn out to be commas. There was never a full stop in any of it."

Answers

1. Trudeau, in a 2002 interview with Maclean's.

2. McConaughey, chatting to Elle in 2013.

3. McConaughey talking to Men's Health

4. Trudeau on 60 Minutes

5. McConaughey to Playboy

6. Trudeau, in a 2003 interview on a chairlift.

7. McConaughey in Playboy

8. Trudeau speaking to CTV News

9. Trudeau on 60 Minutes

10. McConaughey, talking to GQ.

11. Trudeau chit-chatting with Forbes

12. Trudeau, to 60 Minutes.

13. Trudeau, to 60 Minutes, in a line nearly word-for-word taken from Rocky Balboa.

14. McConaughey, to Esquire in 2011.

Final Tally

1-5: Dazed and Confused, maaaan.

6-10: You have played the naked bongos, poorly.

11-13: Alright, alright, alright!

14: You have mastered both time and the flat circle.