[Repressed inner thoughts](https://creators.vice.com/en_us/article/this-is-you-when-youre-alone-missing-somebody) seem to explode from the bodies Swedish illustrator and [Swedish Academy of Realist Art](http://www.swedishacademyofrealistart.se/) teacher Miles Johnston draws in the dysmorphic portraits he posts to his Instagram account. Inspired by greats like [Gustav Klimt](https://creators.vice.com/en_us/article/200-free-art-books-download-guggenheim) and contemporary illustrators like [James Jean](https://creators.vice.com/en_us/article/graffitification-street-art-festival-honolulu), Johnston spends between 10 and 30 hours laboriously sketching, building out, and refining concepts that come to him through life experiences. The muted, monochrome pencil drawings look like how it feels to have your innermost thoughts and emotions physically impact your body. Inverted faces, bisected bodies revealing labyrinthine innards, and limbs erupting into smoke mirror stress headaches, knots in the stomach, and existential crises.

Trying out "fawn" Stonehenge paper, love the colour, darker value than usual.

Miles Johnston’s Instagram profile post: “Trying out 

Since I've spent the weekend in bed recovering, I spent some time going back over old scans that I think were done poorly and readjusting the values a bit. I used to have a bad habit of pushing the contrast too much and generally being a bit lazy with it. Had a ton of fun working on this one, trying to visualize​ how light would strike an inverted face, I find it fun trying to imagine putting my own face into hers and taking a little look through the eye holes.

Miles Johnston on Instagram: “Since I've spent the weekend in bed recovering, I spent some time going back over old scans that I think were done poorly and readjusting…”

So! its finished. always a bittersweet feeling, a mixture of satisfaction, disappointment, anticipation and excitement . I love drawing more than I love to do anything else. If you want to see the original someday it will be hanging at @beinartgallery this July in Melbourne. Lots of love. Size is 15x15cm

Miles Johnston on Instagram: “So! its finished. always a bittersweet feeling, a mixture of satisfaction, disappointment, anticipation and excitement . I love drawing…”

Brain Chain. Pencils on moleskine, size A5. Swipe for closeups! ->-> Something created for an upcoming exhibition at @lastritesgallery , get in contact with them if you are interested in acquiring the original :) #pencils #moleskine

Miles Johnston on Instagram: “Brain Chain. Pencils on moleskine, size A5. Swipe for closeups! ->-> Something created for an upcoming exhibition at @lastritesgallery ,…”

Dazzled

I like to keep up a steady diet of podcasts, lectures and audiobooks while I'm working on drawings to help keep a flow of new information coming in. Over the past couple years I have listened to some really great Buddhist speakers talk about the concept of impermanence and the kinds of suffering it can cause.  I think this seems fairly obvious to most people when we think about the bigger things, the loss of relationships, the death of ourselves and everyone we will ever know, the collapse of entire civilisations, or maybe even the inevitable demise of our planet as it gets swallowed up by our Sun turning into a red giant. It wasn't actually any of those things that my mind went to first, instead it was with older mundane memories of totally absurd dissatisfaction around normal day to day moments that it resonated most strongly. It actually feels almost embarrassing or self indulgent to write this example down, but in the spirit of honesty I will anyway.
It used to be a really exciting occasion when my dad would order a pizza delivery instead of us eating home cooking. I remember one moment, where right as I was totally immersed in that momentum of desire and hunger before you begin eating a delicious meal, this strange realisation and sadness came over me. No matter how delicious, no matter how long it took, no matter how intense the pleasure of eating, soon enough it would inevitably be over. Once it had come to pass, it didn't seem to matter how good the food had been, in some sense the hunger had all been a lie, it was still now, I was still me and the satisfaction it had promised could never last. It felt like the pizza was already gone before I even began eating it. The pull into the future of the hunger would be replaced by tiredness, thirst, boredom or pain. 
It bothered me because I couldn't shake the feeling that somehow my whole life would pass in exactly the same manner. No matter what I did, what peaks of ecstacy I reached or which depths of suffering I was unfortunate enough to endure, I had this horrible feeling that it ultimately didn't matter.(No matter how long and full the life I lived) You can extrapolate to the extreme, just for..

Miles Johnston on Instagram: “Dazzled  I like to keep up a steady diet of podcasts, lectures and audiobooks while I'm working on drawings to help keep a flow of new…”

Miles Johnston on Instagram: “A dumb sketchbook page of some spagoop”

A new pencil piece I've been ticking away on this week titled 'drained'. This was one of those ideas that spontaneously popped out of nowhere when I was walking someplace. I wasn't entirely sure whether the intended effect made sense, so it was very satisfying exploring and trying to make it work. I liked the idea of taking an approximate 2D outline of a brain and turning it into an object in perspective. I've been recording a lot of timelapse footage and bits and pieces of my day recently with the intention of editing it together into something. Hope everyone is doing good!

Miles Johnston on Instagram: “A new pencil piece I've been ticking away on this week titled 'drained'. This was one of those ideas that spontaneously popped out of…”

I have been working on a special set of hand embellished prints for @mooncranepress over this past week. We will be releasing 3 designs, all available in both regular and hand finished editions, as part of an upcoming collaboration of exciting projects. 10 of the prints have been lovingly altered with red inks and metallic golden swirly eyes. If you want to be first to know about when they are available, please consider signing up for my mailing list, which is linked in my bio and on my website. All the best!

Miles Johnston on Instagram: “I have been working on a special set of hand embellished prints for @mooncranepress over this past week. We will be releasing 3 designs,…”

I scanned this thing! Pretty happy with how it turned out, graphite on Stonehenge paper.

Aaaalso! I'm doing a little podcast with the mighty @evenmehlamundsen in about 5-10 mins here! http://youtu.be/Ed1xRPjSw2I Come hang out if you feel like it. :D link in bio

Miles Johnston on Instagram: “I scanned this thing! Pretty happy with how it turned out, graphite on Stonehenge paper.  Aaaalso! I'm doing a little podcast with the…”

Miles Johnston on Instagram: “Scanned this page”

Cropped scan of a moleskine page from the summer. Graphite is the best

Miles Johnston’s Instagram profile post: “Cropped scan of a moleskine page from the summer. Graphite is the best”

A drawing I've been working on this week. Each smaller figure inside wraps around and hugs the layer before it. Had a lot of fun with this one.

Miles Johnston on Instagram: “A drawing I've been working on this week. Each smaller figure inside wraps around and hugs the layer before it. Had a lot of fun with this…”

A better look at the drawing used for the print, had a ton of fun drawing the tiny waves breaking and all the small strands of hair :) Link to pick up a print is in my bio! :)

Miles Johnston on Instagram: “A better look at the drawing used for the print, had a ton of fun drawing the tiny waves breaking and all the small strands of hair :) Link…”

Finished up and scanned! I hope everyone is doing great and feeling good.

#pencils #drawing #art #sketchbook #sketch

Miles Johnston on Instagram: “Finished up and scanned! I hope everyone is doing great and feeling good.  #pencils #drawing #art #sketchbook #sketch”

Reuploaded, filter was too orange and contrast was weird.

Think I'm gonna move on from this one, had a lot of fun.

#pencils #moleskine #pastainside #spaget

Miles Johnston on Instagram: “Reuploaded, filter was too orange and contrast was weird.  Think I'm gonna move on from this one, had a lot of fun.  #pencils #moleskine…”

I'll post some close ups tomorrow! It's pretty small, about 12cm across. Lots of fun, especially putting the tiny landscape on the left hand side

#pencils #drawing #sketchbook #moleskine

Miles Johnston’s Instagram photo: “I'll post some close ups tomorrow! It's pretty small, about 12cm across. Lots of fun, especially putting the tiny landscape on the left…”

Miles Johnston has shows at Last Rites Gallery in May and beinArt Gallery in July. See more of his work [here](https://www.instagram.com/miles_art/) and buy prints [here](http://www.milesjohnstonart.com/store/). Follow Creators on Instagram to find your next favorite artist.

_Know of a talented illustrator whose work belongs here? [Email us](mailto:beckett.mufson@vice.com)._

[_It's Mickey Mouse From Hell_  
](https://creators.vice.com/en_us/article/krisper-manga-pencil-drawings-heart-warming-humanity)

[_Artist Brings Heartwarming Humanity to Manga Pencil Drawings_](https://creators.vice.com/en_us/article/krisper-manga-pencil-drawings-heart-warming-humanity)

[_This Is You When You're Alone Missing Somebody_](https://creators.vice.com/en_us/article/this-is-you-when-youre-alone-missing-somebody)

FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

Surreal Pencil Drawings Look Like How Repressing Your Emotions Feels

FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

Surreal Pencil Drawings Look Like How Repressing Your Emotions Feels

ONE EMAIL. ONE STORY. EVERY WEEK. SIGN UP FOR THE VICE NEWSLETTER.