Spencer Fox

Rather than wage an all-out war against aliens, the newly proposed Military branch would focus more on defending our satellites.

It wasn't long before an audience of bystanders formed to watch as the two robbers frantically tried to escape, even pleading with the crowd for help.

Apparently this is what happens when you text one of those "for a good time, call..." numbers written on a stall.

It took about a dozen fire fighters to rescue him, but at least we can assume he won the game.

"[It was like] an M80 bomb went off in my mouth."

"[It was like] an M80 bomb went off in my mouth."

We don't know why a group of teens were shown the torture porn or—more importantly—why they started with the sequel instead of the original.

It's also going to have some new, big-name actors and plenty of familiar faces, so don't worry.

He first tried and failed in 2014, and now he has tried and failed again.

Twenty-year-old Blake Zengo from Georgia faces disorderly conduct charges after he unleashed a can of toot juice in a crowded bar he wasn't even old enough to be drinking in.

Vince Neil allegedly attacked a female fan who had come up to him inside the Aria Hotel, and Nic Cage jumped in to defend her.

This seems like some sort of Hamburger Helper mixtape-level branded marketing scheme, but it's all too real.