Joel Golby

Delta Air Lines passengers, how many of you took a very strong sleeping pill and woke up to a nasty surprise?

I've written London Rental Opportunity of the Week for seven years, and this is what it all comes down to – trust me.

Follow these 20 tips and you, too, will live in domestic bliss with a bunch of strangers in a tiny rental.

Why? Why would you even think that was a good idea?

Two "studios" in the same "house" with a "shared kitchen" – sure.

Turns out: Much, much worse. Like: "You're shitting next to your kitchen sink" worse.

At least the Mafia are glamorous. What do landlords have? Bluetooth headsets and no job.

A room with all the component parts for you to scrape a miserable little existence in.

This room could have been beautiful. Now it's a one-bed studio for rent with a futon.

Humans don't need hobs or normal-sized sinks, do they??

Want to rent somewhere that will result in a break-up and give you nightmares? Right this way!

The English language does not yet have a word for whatever this is, but if London landlords keep this shit up then it's going to have to.