Alex Siquig

One wants to build an orbital weapons platform called "A Gift for Children," one admires Malcolm X, and one really wants you to know he killed people in Vietnam.

Every year around this time, someone gives us jaundiced takes on the first round of the NBA Playoffs. Those takes are stupid and bad, and the playoffs are good.

Joe Johnson has had a long and successful career, but his kind-of-boring excellence was eclipsed by his huge contract. Now, in Miami, he can write his own ending.

Last year, the Hawks had something beautiful going. This year, it's all fallen apart. It's time to figure out what made this relationship work in the first place.

O.J. Mayo is far from the worst player in the NBA, although he's not the star he could've become. But, in ways big and small, he's the league's saddest case.

The Brooklyn Nets have been dull and less than mediocre this season, and may be for some time still. In their lameness, however, lies a secret: they are really an art experiment.

Harrison Barnes and the Warriors couldn't agree on a contract extension. But, as the NBA's most business-minded wing knows, the economic odds are in his favor.

Last year, the Warriors became the rare NBA champions that everyone enjoyed. Now, they're embracing the role that was always theirs—vengeful supervillains.

The NBA offseason is a drag, and the preseason is not much better. Here are some ill-advised drinking rituals, which you should not do, to help it go by faster.

The NBA Finals are probably going to be pretty great. But if you're feeling the urge to give in to grumpy-ass hating, we are here to help you with that.

Mike Conley is a very good player on a very good team, and one of the NBA's most underrated stars. His broken-faced playoff run is something else entirely.

New Orleans squeaked into the NBA Playoffs, and earned the right to play the league's scariest team. It could be messy, but it could be the start of something big.