If Adam Levine taught us anything in 2022, it’s that very few people know how to express themselves when it comes to sex. To that end, this week’s column from the baroness of horniness herself, Megan Barton-Hanson, is all about the art of sexting. In a modern dating landscape of screenshotted Hinge profiles and “I would like to see the booty” DMs, it’s understandable that being horny online can sometimes feel like a minefield. That said, we are all horny, and we are definitely all online, so why don’t we find some fun and healthy ways to go about it?
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As an avid dater and master of OnlyFans, dirty talk is a big part of Megan’s everyday life, so this is basically the hot version of getting money saving advice from Martin Lewis. From getting the engine started to setting the scene, you can find some of her most important do’s and don’ts below. Or, if you have no interest whatsoever in asking someone to bury their face in your arse and would rather just get on with it, why not check out Megan’s previous column on how to spice things up IRL?Don’t rush in. Even if you're super horny and you’ve been thinking about it all day, play it cool. A good opener I find is a reference back to sex you’ve had with that person in the past, or start the convo with something like “tell me the best sex you’ve had”, or “I’m so horny I can’t stop thinking about the sex the other day…” If you haven’t had sex with them yet, maybe send a little thirst trap and a message like “I’ve been thinking about you..” Let them take the lead and see if they’re down to play before you go balls deep. One thing we can all learn from Adam Levine’s sexts is that you should avoid using words you don’t use day to day. If you wouldn't say “that body of yours is absurd”, maybe don’t put that in a message!
Choose your opener wisely
Sext how you speak
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A note on dick pics
Don’t be lazy
Set the scene with plenty of detail
Be yourself
Give your partner instructions
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