Pride Angel Is the Matchmaking Site for Parents-to-Be and Sperm Donors

Established in 2009, Pride Angel is described by founder Erika Tranfield as a “dating website where donors and parents can meet”. On Pride Angel, you can sift through thousands of profiles, searching for that ideal genetic connection and get to know potential donors through messages.

Tranfield understands the challenges of finding a sperm donor firsthand. "It took me four years to find the right donor," she tells VICE. "I went through clinics and then finally resorted to using my own website, because I’d created it for a reason. I wanted to find someone I connected with on a human level, someone who I could share the genetics of my child with."

Today, Tranfield is a proud mother of two daughters, both conceived using the same donor she found through Pride Angel. With roughly 100,000 users across the app, her story is one of many.

"It is kind of like a dating website," says user Kate Everall. "You look at profiles, match with people you like, and exchange emails. You get to see their appearance and learn more about them from the additional information they provide."

Of course, this convenience comes at a price. Pride Angel charges users to message potential matches, costing £25 per month for unlimited messages. But what sets Pride Angel apart is its alternative approach to the traditional system, which is riddled with issues. 

Allan Pacey, a professor of andrology at the University of Sheffield, says that one of the main problems is the “lack of sperm banks in the UK”. While larger cities like London may have more options, “people living in places like Lancaster have to travel hours to Manchester or Glasgow to find one”.

Tranfield believes the high standards set by the NHS make it difficult for clinics to recruit enough sperm donors, leaving many potential parents feeling stranded. Between long waiting times and limited choices, finding the right donor can be as difficult as, um, booking an IRL appointment with your GP.

"Most clinics aim to offer competitive 'super-sperm', and they usually have less than ten donors, because they reject so many," says Tranfield. This figure is confirmed as “broadly correct” by Dr Erika Foster, a laboratory and quality manager at the Fertility Centre of Whittington Health, a number far lower than the 5,000 available sperm donors on Pride Angel. 

"Our website obviously offers more choices,” Tranfield continues. “Many donors don't meet the criteria set by clinics, even though their sperm works just fine.”

Becoming a registered sperm donor is a lengthy process involving tests, medical history reviews, and screenings for hereditary diseases. While these measures are understandable, they also discourage many potential donors from participating in clinics in the first place. This is where platforms like Pride Angel step in, connecting people who want to help bring a child into the world.

Chris Oatway, a 30-year-old unregistered British sperm donor who’s helped his lesbian friends conceive, says: “Ultimately, the NHS will have to bear responsibility, so I understand why they’re so meticulous, but there are more donors out there.”

Navigating the world of unregistered donors comes with risks, though. Once you've connected with a donor through Pride Angel, the platform bears no responsibility for what happens next. It's like when you match with someone on Hinge, and they end up ghosting you – you can't blame the app for that one. So while Pride Angel can be a great platform to meet donors or couples, don't expect it to hold your hand throughout the entire process.

The Queer Parent author Lotte Jeffs, mother of a 4-year-old conceived through artificial insemination, urges caution when using platforms like Pride Angel. "I can totally see that it provides access and opportunity to people who don't have the funds for licensed clinics," she says. "But it's crucial to look into the legalities of the arrangements you make. You need to ensure the donor has undergone the necessary health checks and that you can trust them to follow through. Essentially, you're placing your trust in a stranger."

Indeed, platforms like Pride Angel could easily encourage all sorts of unsavoury characters – from guys with serious breeding kinks to plain old scammers looking to make a quick buck. 

"I met this donor on Pride Angel who seemed nice, but it turned out he was a scammer,” says user Cortneywils on the online forum Fertility Friends. “He asked me to give him money." 

User MadameCissy shares a further warning on the same thread: "There are some right creeps out there, I had to turn so many of them down – some men are just weirdos."

Everall recalls a few sketchy profiles she encountered when she first signed up, including one man who boasted about "natural inseminations only”. After reporting him, Pride Angel promptly deleted his profile.

For ultimate safety, Tranfield strongly advises users to take their known donors to a clinic and have a doctor perform the insemination. But despite this, it seems more couples are taking matters into their own hands – literally. 

Instead of relying on clinics, many are opting for home insemination, using syringes or catheters to insert the sperm themselves. It might sound a bit unconventional, but who needs a sterile environment when you have a willing partner and a DIY attitude?

The appeal of home insemination is twofold: First, it allows couples to create a calm and familiar atmosphere in the comfort of their own home. For Tranfield, doing it from the comfort of her own home was a beautiful thing to share with her partner, and a much more comfortable experience than anticipated. 

It also significantly cuts costs. "When we were trying to conceive, we faced the daunting prospect of the NHS and private clinics, with costs running into tens of thousands of pounds,” continues Everall. “We decided to try the DIY approach first because going private was simply too expensive."

Jeffs, who chose the private sperm bank route, acknowledges that the process can easily rack up thousands of pounds. She understands the allure of Pride Angel, but also warns about the legal costs involved, such as donor-binding contracts – documents that state who is the legal parent. Raising a child is no cheap endeavour either, she warns.

In a world where a third of people find their partners on dating apps and where even flat-hunting feels like an endless swipe for the perfect match, it's no surprise that the quest for the perfect donor has taken a digital detour. As the NHS struggles to keep up with the demand for sperm donors, the online playground of possibilities serves as a lifeline for those yearning to bring new life into the world. With hopeful parents navigating the wild waters of home insemination and unregistered profiles, it seems the future of mankind really does start with a swipe. 

@LucySarret