Xena Warrior Princeses and The Lion King | Images via wikipedia Commons
Do I love her or do I want to be her? An age old question which, if you listen closely enough, is the sound of baby gays growing their rainbow wings. This pondering pretty much sums up what it’s like to grow up queer. Especially from the 00s, 90s and earlier when gay representation was pretty minimal and the best you could do was project your own budding queerness onto anyone or anything in mainstream media.Since the noughties and nineties though there has been an increase in pop culture featuring queer female characters (finally) with shows like The 100, Orange is the New Black, Sense 8 and Orphan Black proving popular amongst queer teens. None of these have fully documented what it’s like to come out though. And until Netflix’s recent release of queer-centred show Everything Sucks, this was fairly unchartered territory.Everything Sucks is a show dedicated to showing the awkward and stressful experience of coming out as a young teenager. It tells the story of Kate who is coming to terms with her sexuality, falling in love and navigating her way through high school all in the heteronormative 90s—she’s one brave lady.Kate’s struggle to find representation and her infatuation with queer figures in her life feels like a serious #tbt for anyone who grew up queer in that time period and for anyone who looked to TV and film to find their homo inspo (and no, Marissa’s brief lezbo phase on the OC doesn't count). If only we had characters like Kate back then; it would have made the strange lesbian compilation corner of YouTube almost redundant, and would have meant our experiences, and the experiences of our queer contemporaries, were out there to openly see, talk about and normalize.In light of Everything Sucks I wanted to throw back to our ultimate queer crushes of the 00s and 90s to celebrate the not-so-gay-but-we-wanted-them-to-be-gay icons of our youth. I asked around to find out the most popular crushes from back in the day—those who inspired the silent coming outs of a generation. So let’s reminisce about the stifling heteronormative world we grew up in and hopefully bid it farewell one last time.And to answer that eternally baby queer question—“Do I love her? Or do I want to be her?” The answer was probably neither, you just wanted to fuck her.Julia Styles in 10 Things I Hate About YouShe was just the coolest. I knew I definitely wanted to be like her when I was younger, but it wasn't until rewatching it recently that I noticed she truly sent my fanny a flutter. — RoseMeg from HerculesI know she's just a drawing of a woman but Meg from Hercules was a real turning point for me. — LaurenClaire Danes in Romeo and JulietI'm bisexual so the Romeo and Juliet with her and Leo was very overwhelming for me and possibly what started my puberty. — IndraAshley Spinelli from RecessShe was just so cool and rebellious. Her outfit, she was tough, she was really fucking funny. She was my perfect lady. — RuthHallie from Parent Trap (aka the cool twin)My perfect woman; she was American, she was older than me, she was a sexy redhead, she painted her nails, she was a preteen body piercer and (be still my little gay vagina) she GAMBLED in an all-girls poker league she appeared to have started herself…fucking lesbian icon don’t @ me. — LilyNala from The Lion KingDon’t judge me I know she’s a cartoon animal but she was so feisty and strong and always wooped Simba’s ass even though he was king of the pride lands. “Pinned ya! Pinned ya again!” I remember watching The Lion King and thinking I fancied Simba and wanted to be Nala and now I look back and I’m like nope just fancied both of them. — MarcellaXena Warrior PrincessNot just Xena—all of the women in Xena. They were all super strong and looked like they were actually fighting which was cool/sexy. And I liked their tiny boob-cup leather armour haha. Awkward because the woman who played her main enemy is now my yoga teacher. — JessicaWednesday from The Addams FamilyChristina Ricci as Wednesday Addams with pure DNGAF attitude. What more could a confused girl ask for? I remember telling my mother (who I no longer speak to) that I wanted to marry Christina Ricci and was told that being gay was wrong and that I’d never get a wedding if I was gay! — ChloeThe spider from James and The Giant PeachShe was sexyyyyyy! — KimBette Midler in Hocus PocusI dressed as a witch, rode a hoover round my kitchen and wore red lipstick for over a year and at the time I think I thought I was just really into that aesthetic. I was in fact fully smitten. For me Hocus Pocus wasn’t just a 90s classic, it was an astute guideline for a wonderful lesbian life; three single women/witches living in the forest where they party, plot world domination and turn local boys into cats. Where can I sign up? — IggyRita from Sister Act 2.Lauryn Hill as Rita is such a captivating character—she has an unapologetically fierce, playful vibe and holds her own, yet there’s this vulnerability that comes out when she sings. And holy shit, her voice! It gave me goosebumps the first time I watched it and it still does to this day. — ZoeBuffy Summers from Buffy the Vampire SlayerShe looked a lot like a friend I had a crush on IRL at the time—AND she kicked ass and did a job that nobody else could, and usually the asses she was kicking were men’s. — AnnikaSugar from Sugar RushSugar was cool, and charming and took risks and I don’t think looking back I was sure whether I wanted to be her/be with her I used to stay up to watch In secret; under the covers with a torch as it felt like it needed to be a secret cos it was about lesbians! Definitely found the programme hot! But also just relatable, and it gave me a love for Brighton and taught me about sex shops and experimenting etc and I genuinely think it was an important sort of right of passage thing. — KatyPeyton from One Tree HillI just loved her general tomboy vibes, her creativity, and her “fuck you” attitude. I think I thought I wanted to be her but really I wanted to be with her. — LeeSarah from Cheaper by the DozenShe was a tomboy, she was good at sport, she was ballsy and I knew in my gay heart of hearts she was a budding gay just like me. The day would have come when she realised that she liked beanies, skateboards and boy stuff, not because she hates girly things but because she in fact loves girl(y thing)s, baby me is just sad I wasn’t around to see it. — SonjaWillow from Buffy the Vampire SlayerStill not over her. — AliceSabrina from Sabrina the Teenage WitchShe was super femme which I'm into and also she was really confident, was a good friend and cared about everyone around her. And she had a talking cat, so, it’s a yes from me. —NicoleArwen from Lord of the RingsArwen had me from about age 8. I’m still in love. — AislingWinona Ryder and Angelina Jolie in Girl InterruptedWhat a combo—be still my little gay heart. — TaraJustine from The Story of Tracy BeakerJustine was the bad gyal from Tracy Beaker and was my ultimate crush. She was bitchy, she was cold, she was damaged; she was the OG 90s UK TV rebel and I was wild for it. Oh boy. Adult Justine if you're out there, look me up. — CrystalCarmen from Spy KidsPamela Anderson in BaywatchI think it was the red swimsuit and big lips that did it for me. — KimmyDebbie from The Wild ThornberrysShe's the cool older sister; super deadpan, very intimidating with sick af style—what more does a girl want?! — TamsinDrippy from Wild ChildI pretended I watched this film every night for a week because I just really really wanted to go to an all girls boarding school and have sleepovers with my friends, it’s no big deal! Now I can admit that Juno Temple is a straight up hottie and I didn't want to be her “friend”—unless friends can fuck their friends? — VanessaKelly from Saved by the BellUmmm, she was head cheerleader and captain of the volleyball, swim, and softball teams. She played for ALL teams, I wished every day she would one day play for mine. — HellieTai from CluelessBrittany Murphy in anything actually—my numero uno. — IonaJess from Bend it Like BeckhamI think she straddled the line between being my idol and being the love of my life and I don't think there’s a feeling more common in all the world when you grow up queer. — Nadine
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The Pink Power RangerKimberly (Amy Jo Johnson). So gorgeous, but so damn badass. I was obsessed with her from the age of three and it's been a life-long crush. I dressed up as her for many a Halloween. I wish I still had that outfit. — Erin
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I cried daily because I “wasn’t her” and I “needed to become her.” I know now it’s because I “needed to become her (girlfriend).” — EllieMissy from Bring It OnThe scene where Eliza Dushku licks her finger and puts her middle finger up whilst rubbing the tattoo off her arm?! Oh boy. Was she the reason I started wearing chains and drawing upper arm tattoos? Absolutely. Is she the reason I now look for upper arm tattoos in the women I date? Also correct. — TejDrew Barrymore in Charlie’s AngelsTbh, it was all of them. — GraceSebastian/Viola from She’s the ManAmanda Bynes was the ultimate gender bending football playing queer and I really digged it. She looked like a little baby butch which was wildly exciting for me. After I watched She's the Man I started playing football so I could “be a bit like Viola" and we all know how that normally turns out. — Em
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