1: Grindr and other straightforward hookup apps
2: Tinder
3: Hinge
4: Happn
5: Badoo
6: The Inner Circle / The League / Other 'elite' dating apps with 'The' in the name
7: Bumble
Forcing women to message first is not inherently feminist. It will not improve my life, and it does not emancipate me from years of living in a misogynistic, capitalist society. It is just really fucking inconvenient.
The first time you download Bumble, you'll think that everyone is really fit. This is the algorithm laughing at you. Rumour has it people who get more right-swiped (i.e. are more shaggable) will be put at the top of the deck, to tempt, but never match with Good Day sevens / Bad Day (to be honest) fives like you.
Because of its supposed "wokeness", Bumble attracts an inordinate number of softbois who will talk a big talk about smashing the patriarchy but won't smash, haha, anything else.
Those notifications with messages like "You made the first move! Girl power!" or "63 likes, any one of them could be amazing!" are useless. If I have to be notified about anything to do with a dating app, it should only be that someone very, very rich wants to go very, very down on me.
They once deleted one of my photos because you could see my pants (nice ones), so it's apparently not a thirst trap safe space, to which I say: what the fuck is the point.
N.B If you’re a rep from any of these apps please don’t delete my account. I love you really and don’t want to die alone.